[00:00:00] Darla: Welcome to the Spiritually Minded women podcast. If you’re a woman who is ready and willing to be a follower of Jesus, you’re in the right place. Join me as we dive in deep to learn how to embrace your journey on the covenant path with checkpoints instead of checklists, I’m your host Darla Trendler and I’m cheering you on.
Welcome to your journey.
Welcome to the Spiritually Minded Women podcast. This is Darla, and I am thrilled today to have another guest for you to share her story and her journey on the covenant path. And my guest today is Brittany Staker. Brittany, welcome to the podcast. I’m so happy to have you here.
[00:00:43] Brittany: Thank you. I’m so happy to be here.
[00:00:45] Darla: So will you just, before we dive in where we have so many good things to talk about, just tell everyone a little bit more about you.
[00:00:52] Brittany: Yeah, definitely. I currently live in Colorado. Colorado Springs and I grew up in Utah.
So that’s where all of our family is from. I feel like that’s where I’m from too, but then we’ve moved around a lot, but all my kids were born there. I have three kids. My oldest is 16 and then my middle one is 13. And then Maya, my youngest, is 10. And so we’re in that age group of teenager and preteen. And so navigating that, so that in itself is a journey, but we’re making it.
And my husband and I, we were married in the Bountiful Temple 20 years ago this year. So that’s a good milestone. And we just, because of my husband’s work, we have been able to live in a bunch of different places that I wasn’t expecting. It has allowed us to go all these different places.
So we’ve lived in Virginia and we lived in Texas for a few years. And then now we’re here in Colorado. So we’re sticking, we’re putting roots down. I know you’re supposed to put roots down everywhere you go, but for real, we’re doing it this time. The time has come. It’s been 10 years and coming since we started that process, but not building a house that would take way too long.
But yeah I’m a huge Dr. Pepper fan. I know it’s probably not the best thing for you, but that is just my happy place sometimes. I miss Swig. I know that’s the big thing in Utah. I need one here. But yeah. I love the gospel and I teach early morning seminary to the youth here and we have such a great group of youth, and that has been, this is my going on my fourth year of teaching early morning seminary.
And so I tell my kids all the time that I wouldn’t be getting up that early in the morning if I didn’t know the gospel was true because I’m not a morning person. So I just love the gospel. And I love being able to share stories and be able to share experiences to help other people just to be uplifted and grow.
And that’s just a little bit about me.
[00:02:51] Darla: I love learning more about you and it’s very evident how much you love the gospel. I follow you on Instagram. And I just, I, it’s just very apparent of your love of the gospel and of the Savior and wanting to share that with other people. So that’s why I invited you to come on today.
I really am excited for this conversation and I know to start off, I know that you have a little bit different. We always hear this phrase enduring to the end. And I know that you have a little bit of a different take on that. So can you tell everyone what that is and what that means to you and how you got there.
[00:03:23] Brittany: Yeah. So you hear all the time it’s in the scripture, you hear it at church. You hear all the time about enduring to the end. Which is great, right? Because we’re trying to get to the end. And President Nelson when he was first called his prophet, he gave that press conference that he talked about as the presidency, where beginning with the end in mind.
And I was like, a Dr. Covey thing, Stephen R. Covey. And so I thought about that the end. Whenever I hear endure, I feel like that was not that it’s not a happy word. It’s an okay word, but I like the word enjoy better.
And so my phrase that I like to use quite often is enjoying to the end because we really are trying to get back to live with Heavenly Father. We knew that was our ultimate goal. When we left, we had the end in mind cause we wanted to come back to live with him again. And so I love that phrase because sometimes in our lives, we all have a plan and we think it’s going to go a certain way.
And then it doesn’t. And we have a crossroad. Where is this going to take me? Am I going to stick to enduring? Or can I choose to enjoy this journey? No matter what is going on around us, whether it’s trials or hard times, it can be anything, it can be simple. And so I feel like I’ve had to come to a place that I’m still learning.
I haven’t figured this out, but I’m still just trying to just embrace the fact that I, life is meant to have joy. And even though it can be chaotic and things could be falling apart in the world, we can still enjoy the journey. And so that’s why I did my podcast and did things like that was to be able to share the light of Christ with others even though my journey is a mess.
[00:05:17] Darla: I really love this enjoy to the end. That is such a hopeful way to look at things. And you have been through a lot, you have endured a lot. And can you back up and tell some of the experiences that you’ve had where life has not gone as you planned it.
[00:05:34] Brittany: Yeah. A few years ago when we were living in Texas. I am one of those people that have worn glasses since I was like third grade, so this isn’t new news to me. And so I went in and. I took, they took pictures of my eyes what they do. And I had found out from my doctor in that moment because they had new equipment, they hadn’t seen things before in the backs of my eyes, that I had this rare eye disease called retinitis pigmentosa or R T for short.
And so basically what that means is that the cells in the backs of my eyes are failing they’re dying and there’s nothing they can do to stop the progress. There’s nothing that they can do to reverse it. And as of now, there isn’t a cure yet. And so it was one of those moments. I was by myself, of course, because that sometimes what happens when you’re on your journey.
And I was by myself and I just remember having this feeling of wait, this was just supposed to be a regular eye exam. And now you’re telling me that I’m losing my vision. And in most situations, most people don’t go completely blind, but they can. And because it’s such a rare disease, they don’t know.
They don’t have specifics. So again, part of the journey where it’s okay, so tell me my timeline. Like how long do I have before I can’t seeing anymore? I remember him looking at me with this just blank look on his face. And I was like that’s not how it goes. And so I remembered driving home and I was just overwhelmed.
And I was like, wait, like this was when my kids, it was a few years ago, but they were, I had younger kids at the time and I thought how am I supposed to do, be a mom and drive a car and go to Target and all these things that bring joy in my journey and I didn’t know.
And at that moment what really was failing my eyes was I have horrible night vision and I thought it was just how everybody was, but for me, I guess it really is a problem. And so I didn’t really drive at night, even during that time that I didn’t even know I had this issue. So with your vision and with this disease, your periphery will start to go away. So when you do like an eye test at the DMV and they do those magical twinkly lights, I can’t see those very well. And which I was okay. I was getting to a place where I was like, I’m good. I embraced it.
And last fall, I had a day where I was having trouble seeing out of my right eye and weird things were happening. Anyways, I decided to just lay down, take a nap. And I woke up and my right eye was completely blind and I thought. Wait, this is it. This is again, my plan, this wasn’t the timeline.
And it hasn’t come back. And so my sweet family has we’ve prayed and we fasted and we pray every night for my eyes to like, please help mom that she can see. At the beginning of this process, I was like, devastated last fall because this was not the plan and this wasn’t supposed to happen and this wasn’t normal.
And so that led me to a place of where I was not enjoying my situation and I was actually quite grouchy. So I had to remember why I am here because I came to a place where it was now what, and now what if my left eye fails, and then what am I going to do?
And so I had to realize that the Savior was standing next to me and to have him help me. And I remember thinking to myself we forget, like I have a testimony of this gospel. I know it’s true with all my heart. And I share that with everybody. But in this moment, I. I forgot that I have the Savior right there standing next to me and helping me along and knowing how I feel and can help me in my journey to enjoy it and not just endure it.
And so I had to have a perspective change and that difference of having a perspective change has helped me get through the last months of navigating a new normal of not being able to see and having my vision changed both like physically and spiritually of where I’m trying to get to and how I’m going to get there with a good attitude and having joy in the process.
[00:10:14] Darla: So I would love to back up a little bit to that point where you wake up and you can’t see out of one eye anymore, and you admittedly say I’m just enduring at this point, and it sounds like you maybe were a little bit mad and trying to just try to just work through all of that.
How did you work through that and how did you get to the place where you could say, okay, I’m going to enjoy this and I’m sure it’s not like that constantly. And I’m sure that there’s still tough days, how do you get from that place where you’re just like mad and why is this happening to me and questioning God to a place where you can remember, I have a Savior and I can get through this and what did that look like for you?
[00:10:51] Brittany: So for that moment that I woke up and I couldn’t see. I remember thinking to myself this is just for a moment. It’s going to come back tomorrow. And so I remember thinking like I have all this space, I know the power of prayer is real. And so as each day kept going and nothing was changing. I kept thinking wait a second.
I have faith. And I know if, and this is the tricky part is it’s God’s will, if he wants to heal this my eye and I can have it back then he will. And I remember probably one of the hardest things for me was my kids were really worried. I can’t even comprehend how they feel.
We’ve tried to keep them in the loop of what’s going on and how they’re feeling. Because I’m, it’s hard for me obviously, but I know it’s extra hard for my family. And I remember thinking to myself when one night after it’d been like a month and my kids had purposely had tried so hard to like, pray to help me see.
Have Mom’s eye come back like, please help Mom. And by this point, I’m super frustrated because I don’t know what’s going on and why this is happening. And so yes, I was frustrated. Yeah. If I’m being honest, I was a little kind of having a moment where I felt like a teenager with God.
I don’t understand. Wait a second. I was doing so well and I embraced everything so nicely. And then, oh, no the chutes and ladders game where you like have to go back down and apply it again. That’s how I felt. And I remember having this overwhelming feeling one night before we said family prayers.
And I remember telling my husband, I was like, we need to talk to the kids about their prayers and them praying for me because I can feel that strength and I can fill that peace, but I don’t want them to think that God isn’t answering their prayers because my kids, especially when they were little, they had magic prayers.
So if they lost anything, they would just instant I’m praying to Heavenly Father to help me find like a library book and he did. And it took some time. Sometimes it was quicker than others, but he always answered their prayers. So they had that testimony of faith and prayers being answered. And so I remember having a sit down with them and being like you guys, thank you.
Keep praying. Don’t stop praying for my vision. But do you know that Heavenly Father is listening to our prayers and I could see them processing what I was saying. And especially my older two. They didn’t say this, but I had this feeling. They were like if He’s not going to answer that, then you know, maybe we shouldn’t pray for that anymore.
And so our prayers changed during after that month. And this is when my heart changed from anger to faith and peace and hope that instead of praying for my vision to come back, we now pray that we’re thankful that I have half of the good eye left and please help mom to see as long as she can. And so that has changed their outlook, including my own, because when I was upset, I think sometimes when we’re upset. We, which it sounds so cliche, but you don’t want to pray. And. Or at least that’s me. I don’t know if that’s everybody else’s but you don’t. And I know prayer works, and I know he listens. And so I remember thinking to myself, like Heavenly Father. Do you hear what you’re saying to your kids?
Cause, cause that’s good, but listen to what you’re saying and have that for yourself. And so I, that was a turning point for me. I had to change how I was saying my prayers to be thankful and to be grateful, which can seem impossible to do when you’re losing so much. But it doesn’t change your situation or your circumstance.
It hasn’t changed my vision mentally, but it has spiritually. And that has been the key with more than just enduring, but enjoying. I look outside and I can still see things. And that is a miracle for me. And I’m going to enjoy it as long as I possibly can because I don’t know how much time I have.
And so it’s been a little thing. This sparkly, snow, how it like glitters. It was so magical yesterday and I was like looking at it and I’m like, I’m going to remember this moment. And so my complex planning has turned into very simple and that has allowed me to be able to really enjoy the journey, even though my journey is not the one I wanted.
[00:15:37] Darla: Yeah. I really think it’s beautiful how you were able to receive personal revelation about how your kids were praying and go to them and teach them. And in the process, the spirit taught you what you needed to heal and to know, okay, this is how I’m going to move forward and I’m going to move forward enjoying.
I would love to know how do you think personal revelation comes into play when we are trying to enjoy the journey enjoy instead of just enduring. Where does personal revelation come into all that?
[00:16:08] Brittany: For me it’s been a key factor with just being able to feel my Savior’s love for me.
I feel like when I have those moments and follow those promptings from the Holy Ghost to do something or to write something down it allows me to feel so peaceful, which is what I need, and I think we all need peace.
For me and personal revelation, and I love that phrasing personal revelation is because it’s so personal. Something that has come to me that is going to work for me and my situation and for my family is going to be something different for you and for your family.
And that’s, what’s so amazing about personal revelation I feel. It’s destined to be that way. And I think that’s why President Nelson has really encouraged us to find how we hear him, right? He’s been very focused on that because how we hear him is how we are going to be able to feel and know our personal revelation because it’s coming from him.
It’s not coming from our own personal mind. It is coming from the Spirit. It’s coming from Heavenly Father. It is coming from all these places, but we have to be in that place to be able to hear him to then guide us to our own personal revelation. And so I always love being able to hear when people share stories because what works for me, there may be a thought that comes to your mind when you hear a story, whether it’s mine or someone else’s, that’s the spirit talking to you telling you.
Hey, I’m talking to you. This is what you need to do, or this is what you need to stop doing or start doing. And that is when personal revelation is going to help us along our covenant path because Heavenly Father and our Savior know exactly what we need to get there. And they’re going to get our little post-it note help, I like to call them.
And we just have to be willing to listen to those promptings that we get and not just dismiss them as something as nothing because I think we all do sometimes. And I think that luckily the spirit is so good at his job. But I like to think that sometimes he, like I told you this four times, and I’m glad you’re listening on the fifth time, but I think that the better we practice listening to those promptings will then open the door to having a stronger connection with the Savior, which then leads to being able to hear him have that revelation, which is personal for each of us In our lives.
[00:18:52] Darla: Yes. It’s what I’ve been thinking about. I come on this podcast and I share all these interviews of different people and how they’ve navigated but it is such a personal journey for each of us. And isn’t that so beautiful.
Isn’t that so amazing that we have a Savior? You have your own personal challenges. Everyone does. We all have challenges and, but we also have our own personal help. We have our own unique individual way that he’s going to come to us and help us. I just think that’s so beautiful. I was thinking about that when you were talking before, just about your kids and how you’re led to know how to help them pray, and then you now, something that you need and it may not look the same for someone else and that’s okay.
I do think there’s so much value in hearing other people’s stories because like you said, Can spark an idea like, okay, this is the personal revelation that I need. And it’s about what the spirit can teach you. I think that is so beautiful. You mentioned that you’re a seminary teacher.
I would love to know. How has this experience that you’re going through because this is far from over for you. Like you’re still in the middle of it, of having your vision not be what you would have expected it to be. How has that helped you in teaching seminary and teaching the gospel? Maybe not even in, just in seminary, but in your home as well.
Like how has that changed your perspectives?
[00:20:11] Brittany: Last fall, when I lost my vision, I was expecting, like I said, I was expecting it to come back. And so for a few days I laid low. I stopped doing what I knew, which was a mistake. And so I didn’t go to seminary for a few days. And I remember when I came back that first day I told class what was what was happening and I have 26 kids in my class, and so I remember them looking at me and just you can feel their compassion. They didn’t have to say anything and granted at 6:10 in the morning and they’re teenagers. But I remember that just, I felt a sense of compassion.
And then it turned into our prayers as a class where please bless Sister Staker’s eyes. And then I would have parents reach out to me and be like, we’re praying for you. And it became like this moment of bringing us all together for this trial of my me personally. When you try to think that you can do things on your own just fine.
You don’t need anyone else’s help. You’re just, you’re good. Which I’ve done that before. It’s so much more lonely. And so having all these people, including my class pray for me. But what has happened I feel is I think it’s taught my class and it’s taught me that you can still keep going. Even though your journey is not the way you planned or even if you have limited disabilities or you don’t have everything lined up in a row and that’s not going to shake my faith.
And that doesn’t mean Heavenly Father doesn’t love me or love them. And you keep going. And just being able to share my testimony of the gospel every morning has allowed me to see more of an eternal perspective and seeing God’s hand in my story and their story, I think has allowed us to see more of the big picture eternally.
And I tell them all the time I’m like, whether my eyesight comes back in this lifetime, I know it will in the next. And that’s part of the plan. And I think I know I talk about this with my class that sometimes they’ll ask the question like do you think we knew our trials before we came to earth?
And we still wanted, obviously we still came. And I was like, no, I was like, that is a good question. Cause I was like to talk to my myself would be like, which line did you decide to get in? But I’ve always had this thought and I can’t remember where I found it. I just remember it’s stuck with me was someone asked if they felt like God was punishing them because of these trials that they were going through.
And this gentleman, I can’t remember, his friend had made the comment. No, that just tells me how much God loves me and wants me to grow and be refined and learn. And so I taught that to my class. I feel like when you’re a teenager, your view is like this. And everything is so important and it is, and, but I’ve also tried to keep them from an eternal perspective that God is in their story and Jesus is standing right next to them, ready to walk with them.
But you just have to recognize that he is there and be willing to walk with him and not. Don’t stand in middle and do nothing because that’s sometimes what you want to do when you’re in a midst of a hard trial is just stand there. And sometimes that’s okay. Sometimes I know you can do it. And that’s where I’ve been.
Sometimes I don’t want people to be like, oh, wow, no, I have been that person. That’s nope, I’m out. I’m just going to sit right here and we’ll just wait. We’ll wait for Jesus to come again. I’m good. I’m ready. And then I have to pick myself back up again and be like, this is not enjoying anything.
This is not in a good place. It’s good to fill those emotions. I’ve always felt that way. It’s good to feel your emotions and recognize them and not just sweep them under a rug, but it’s also more important to stand back up again and try again. And so I, hopefully my class, that’s how they, I don’t know this is coming from their teacher’s point of view.
The youth of this church are amazing and they teach me every day through things that they go through at school or at home. And is that we can still show up to 6:10 seminary and go on with our day. And I haven’t missed. I haven’t missed since I lost my vision. My son drives us in the morning.
He can drive and he’s 16, but I made a promise that I would get up and go to seminary. And because those days that I was like, I’m just going to stay home and wait for my vision to come back. And I won’t go to seminary were some of the hardest because I lost that vision and I need them. I need the gospel.
I need a Savior every morning. It’s super important to me that I have that. And I noticed for them too.
[00:25:21] Darla: Yeah that’s such great perspectives. And I just love how you’ve shared this part of your journey in just a few minutes in such a relatable way because not everyone is going to lose their vision the way that you have, but everyone is going to have something that doesn’t go the way they planned it.
And I love what you said about it being proof that God loves you. That’s such a hopeful way to think about it. And so I’m just really grateful to be able to learn from you and to be able to share this. So thank you so much. I have one final question for you, and that is how have you seen him felt the Savior in your journey on the covenant path?
[00:25:59] Brittany: So how I felt the Savior, and I thought a lot about this just recently that for me Heavenly Father and the Savior knew that people on my path, on my covenant journey. We’re going to help me all along the way. And crossroads between social media or friends or moving across the country, the Savior knew and my Heavenly Father knew that they were going to put people along my path to be like, Hey, I see you. That’s how I feel my Savior’s love is through people’s example and through people’s words. And it started a long time ago before my vision, but I had growing up in Sandy, I had the best Sunday school teacher in the planet. Sheri Dew was my Sunday school teacher.
And I wish I don’t know if she’s listening. I love her. She’s the best.
She was my kitty corner neighbor and she taught me so much. And Heavenly Father knew I needed to have a strong foundation, even when I was a beehive a long time ago. We had the opportunity to meet President Nelson in Texas. He came to our stake and whether it’s these people that everyone knows, or whether it’s my simple friend that just recently moved here from California with her kids that are the same age as mine, and she’s been able to help me navigate this new normal of not being able to drive.
She comes and picks up my kids. And she’s filled in that role. And they moved here last summer. And so I feel like for me seeing my Savior is through other people because ultimately their willingness to serve me through their words or their actions keeps me on my path. And keeps me on my journey.
I feel they’re like my construction cones along my covenant path that they’re like, oh, we just don’t forget how much the Savior loves you in case of this moment that you’re feeling down or having a bad day. For me, Heavenly Father knew that people would be able to reach me.
And like I said, like you said, at the beginning, it’s different for everyone and it can be anything. But I think when we sit down and take a second to think about how does the Savior influence me in my life and where do I see him in my story, then that changes your whole perspective because it will be different for everyone, which is great.
But just make sure you know what that is and how you can utilize that and make sure you recognize that he is there and don’t forget it because it’s so important. He wants us to come back home and he will help us get there, but we just have to make sure we know he’s there in our story, which then will allow us to enjoy our journey back home to Him.
[00:28:53] Darla: So beautifully said, and I think something I was thinking from my perspective of hearing your story and looking in, he always prepares us. He doesn’t give us things that we’re not prepared for. And I love what you said about going back to your spiritual foundation as a youth and, having these great teachers and these great experiences, he totally prepared you.
And now you get to experience this and learn, continue to learn and grow and have other people come in and help you and you get to help other people. And that I think that’s just what it’s all about being on the covenant path that we’re not alone. We have a Savior beside us. We have people right there next to us, then we can lift and help each other. Get back. It’s. Just great. It’s awesome. I love it.
[00:29:35] Brittany: When I was in young womens, we were in the basement of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and we were going to the Relief Society. Building, whatever, you know what the Palm tree. Okay. So nobody wanted to go.
[00:29:53] Darla: Like a young women’s activity or something?
[00:29:55] Brittany: We were at an activity and so nobody wants to go, but my parents made me go cause you know how teenagers are. And so out of my group of 12, there was like three of us. Anyways. I refuse to wear glasses.
Even though I can’t see, cause I thought I looked dorky, so I couldn’t see. So we’re in the basement and we’re walking in to underneath the Joseph Smith Memorial building and we were walking into like turn to go, like to the tunnel. My, young womens leader was like, Brittany, do you see who that is? And I’m like no, who is it?
Who’s coming out? I’m like, I don’t have my glasses. I’m like, who is it? And so I’m like trying to squint and I see these two people and there’s like a golf cart. And I’m like, who is it? And I’m sh I’m trying to get closer to make it out who it is, which is funny now that I think about it. I can’t see now, but I chose not to see them. Anyways,
this is done on me.
And I’m like you just tell me, because I don’t know. I can’t see. And she’s it’s President Hinckley and his wife and I was like, and so we went out and they were by themselves. They were getting into their golf cart and we met with President Hinckley. He was the prophet. And I remember like at that moment, I was like, we were obviously close enough that I could see him now for reals.
And it was just so amazing because we shook his hand and I was like, never washing my hand again. And I, it was one of those like faith building moments for me that as soon as I shook his hand, as soon as I talked to him, I knew he was a prophet of God. I knew. I just knew all these things. And it was through a handshake and him talking to me.
And I just remember thinking like, I’m so glad I came and I didn’t miss this moment, but it was much more than that. It was that vision perspective that even though I couldn’t see who it was, my leader could, and she could help me get on my journey to the prophet, literally, and be able to see him and shake his hand.
And it was just great. So anyways,
[00:31:58] Darla: I can see so many applications to that story, your current story, that story, go tell your seminary class.
[00:32:05] Brittany: The good news is we changed classes year round, so like it’s good cause they don’t hear my same stories over. Yeah. And there,
[00:32:16] Darla: I can see so many applications. Like I was thinking when you were telling it you didn’t have the vision to see the profit because you didn’t want to wear your glasses. So put your glasses on. I don’t know what that means.
Yeah. Oh man. This is open my world. Wow. Thank you.
Okay. I’m so glad that I could be here for this moment. It’s great.
If people want to find you and hear more about what you shared, they want to find your podcast, your Instagram, where can they go and do that?
[00:32:48] Brittany: Yeah. On Instagram and on Facebook, you can find me at just this @eyestoseepodcast and same thing with my podcasts.
It’s on Apple and Google. It’s on all platforms. So if you just search it, Eyes to See podcast. It will come up and that’s where you can listen.
And I highly
[00:33:09] Darla: recommend it. I have been listening to your episodes and I love it. And I’ll put all that information in the ,show notes. Everyone can link right up there from this episode.
So Brittany it was so nice to meet you. Thank you so much for coming on and just sharing your journey. I’ve learned so much from you.
[00:33:24] Brittany: Thank you so much for having me. It’s been so nice and you’re just the best.
[00:33:30] Darla: I love being able to interview you. Thank you
[00:33:33] Brittany: Thank you so much.
[00:33:36] Darla: And now here are this week’s journal questions. Brittany said, changing her prayers to have more gratitude, made a huge difference in learning to enjoy. Instead of just endure. How has expressing gratitude in prayer helped you? Record your thoughts.
Hearing someone else’s story, even if it is not the same as your own can give you nuggets of wisdom you need for your own life. What is something that inspired you while hearing Brittany’s story?
Write down how this impression could help you in your life and then act on it.
I loved Brittany’s story about meeting President Hinckley in the parking garage. What faith filling moments have you had in your life?
How have these moments helped you to see God in your life?
Share your thoughts with someone close to you?
I hope you enjoyed the podcast and if you did, please share it with a friend. I would love it if you would leave a review and rate it on Apple Podcasts. This actually helps more women find the podcasts and embrace their own journey on the covenant path. To find more ways to be a part of the spiritually minded women community, head over to spiritually minded women.com. For more inspiration follow along on Instagram @spirituallymindedwomen. Have an amazing day. I’m cheering you on in your journey.