Beyond The Checklist

026 Why Your Unique Gifts Matter in the Work of Building God’s Kingdom with Sally Dupaix

Transcript:

Darla: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Spiritually Minded Women podcast. This is Darla. So happy to be here with you as always. And I have another great guest to share with you today. I’m super happy to welcome my friend, Sally Dupaix, and she is going to be sharing some great things with us. I think you’re going to love her and love the things that she has to share.

So Sally welcome. So happy to have you. 

Sally: [00:00:47] Thanks. I’m very excited. 

Darla: [00:00:49] You’re going to do great. Everyone is going to love you. We’ve gotten to know each other in a group that we’ve been a part of and I have met Sally in real life. I’ve gotten to taste some of her cooking and I’m sure she’s going to tell you about that.

And her baking and she’s just such a great person and I’m honored to have you today. So would you, I’d like to introduce yourself and tell me a little bit more about you. 

Sally: [00:01:09] Yeah, absolutely. So first I’m honored to be here. I love this podcast and I love the way that you amplify women’s voices and allow women to share and the things on their heart.

And I’ve definitely been blessed from learning from you and from a lot of the women that you’ve interviewed. It’s truly an honor of mine to be here. So I’m Sally. I have three kids. That’s always, I always start with that. I’ve got three kids and a husband. I also went to culinary school and like a classically trained chef slash home chef. Cause I cook mostly at home now. I run a little Instagram page called Kinship Table where I sell cookies and share about gathering around the table about family dinner and really just about how to connect with people around food. 

Darla: [00:01:55] We’ll link up everything but I love the cookies that you make and everything that you talk about with gathering and getting your family around the table.

It’s so good. Today, sally, we’re going to talk about a part of your journey on the covenant path. And we talked before about you sharing about identifying and consecrating your gifts to help build the kingdom and how that is a part of your journey that you’ve experienced on the covenant path. So tell me what that means to you.

What does that look like for you? 

Sally: [00:02:23] So for me, I went through this rocky phase as a mom where I felt like I wasn’t able to use all the gifts and talents I had. And creating this page, Kinship Table, gave me an outlet to use my gifts in a way that it is sharing light even though I’m not talking about Jesus every single day. I hope everything that I’m doing and the things that I’m saying are still helping direct people towards Jesus and So I feel like it’s been really cool for me to learn how I get to use the things that I’m naturally good at and the things that I love to do.

And I can do it in a way that actually helps support building the kingdom of God. And and it becomes even more fun and even more fulfilling when you get to see that work, creating really positive things in people’s lives. 

Darla: [00:03:08] Yeah, I love that thought. So how did you realize what your gifts were and what you could contribute to the kingdom?

How did that come about for you? 

Sally: [00:03:16] Yeah, I, so I grew up my mom was full time mom. Like she was all in with us kids and I thought first of all, I never loved babysitting and I like I, but I was like, I’m going to be a mom. That’s what I do. And so I became a mom and thought I would just love it.

And I really struggled in it. And I loved my kids, but I really struggled with a lot of things. And I think a big part of it was probably post-partum depression. But after each kid I would come up with some creative projects that I wanted to do. I started a t-shirt company that like failed.

Like I, I started multiple blogs, like just, I always needed like a creative outlet and something to do. But then when I had my third baby, the weight of having three kids and then postpartum depression really took me out for a little while. And I remember during that time, really seeking to know my Savior better so that I could rely on him more and feel those like, I would hear people talk about how, depending on the Savior gave them so much more strength or it had these like real life impacts on their life. And I was like, I not really felt that for the most part, I’ve learned about Jesus, but is this real?

Is this really gonna work for me? And and so I really started digging into my relationship with Jesus and who he was and the Bible and and the Book of Mormon and just loved it. And even though I still was really struggling with postpartum depression through that process of getting to know Him better, it led me to solutions that would help me with postpartum depression. So like I was able to get more support in my life and take some of the emotional burdens, things like that. So anyways through that process, I, as I learned to love Christ more, I really wanted to participate in His work.

This has changed my life. How can I share it? And, like we, we learned about consecrating our talents or about using our talents for good. And for me, that was always like, you have to have a musical talent. You have to play the piano or sing. And that would not spread.

Nobody wants to hear me sing. Like I’d never had those kinds of talents. I’m not a great artist and not like I’m not those like kind of talents that I feel like I thought I was, I thought I was supposed to have. 

Darla: [00:05:33] I’m shaking my head because I completely identify with that. Totally with you on that. 

Sally: [00:05:39] Like when we, when I was in young women’s and they would talk about growing your talents and stuff, I’m like, I really like food.

I like food. And I like hanging out with my friends. 

Darla: [00:05:52] So back then, did you feel sheepish about that? Did you feel like, oh, I don’t know. Is this really a talent? 

Sally: [00:05:56] Even up until probably three or four years ago, I almost, and probably because of the culture around like weight and bodies and stuff, I was like, not, I was not super outspoken about how much, how passionate I am about food, because I felt like, oh, people are going to think are going to judge my body because of my love for food or whatever. And so I was really, I thought those were stupid talents.  I’m like, this is never going to serve anybody.

And as I like worked to figure how I can participate in the work, I kept getting these answers like. You already have gifts and I’m like, where are they? What are they? And I wish I could remember exactly the day that I identified them, but I do remember having a conversation with our friend Lizzie Jensen talking through what could I do?

I could like just, I don’t know what I could do. And it came down as I reflected on my life and she probably she’s so wise. So she probably asked me like really thoughtful questions that got me to these answers, but I thought about what have been the themes throughout my whole life? What have I been taught like through my experiences? What has God been teaching me through my whole life? And the two things were like one, one thing that is present in every relationship and every meaningful relationship in my life is food like me and my mom. We have created so many amazing memories around our love of certain foods and seeking out foods on road trips and things like that.

So many of my friends growing up, like it was just always, our sleepovers were about like, okay, what are our snacks going to be? Or what are we going to make or whatever. So I had all of these experiences growing up where food was so central to it. And I finally was like, This is actually a gift.

This isn’t a curse. It almost felt like a curse to me because I was like, I’m never going to lose weight. I’m never going to be thin because I love food. It’s such a curse. And one day it was like, it’s actually such a gift. And if I can let go of all of these other expectations and just focus on this gift that God has given me, which is the love of food, the love of preparing food, the love of sharing food.

Maybe I could do some good with that. And then the other side of it, the other gift that I felt like I identified was so my dad was in the Navy. I grew up moving every three to four years. I haven’t lived anywhere in a single city for more than four years in my entire life. And and each time I’ve moved, I’ve been so blessed to have usually like usually when I first move in, there is an angel waiting for me.

There is a friend who is ready to scoop me up and show me the ropes. I’m like crying because I can think of four or five of these friends that are still dear friends today that just helped me to feel grounded in a new place and helped me to figure out how to like where I fit in that new place.

And I have friends that I still talk to, like on a weekly basis from as far back as first grade, that I’ve just developed, then I’ve learned how to develop relationships and how to love people so deeply because of this thing that used to feel like it wasn’t a blessing, which was always having to move away from people always having to adjust to new places.

Another thing that felt maybe like a curse, but actually helped teach me something in such a unique and strong way that that now I feel like I, I love making friends. I love getting to know new people. I love the opportunity to move. We just moved last year in the middle of a pandemic. It was the weirdest new move because I haven’t been able to meet people but every time I do, I’m so excited for who I’m going to meet and what friendships are waiting for me on the other side.

Because I know that the Lord puts those people and I can’t wait to find them. Does that answer your question? That was a really, there’s a 

Darla: [00:09:44] lot to unpack here. I really, I love all of it, this and how, something that we think at one point in our life is not a good thing is really a gift from God.

It is a gift that he created you with. And really it’s not that he didn’t bless you with a gift it’s that you just had to change. You know how you were looking at something in your life and see it maybe more in his way for that to bless you. I’m just curious, did you go to culinary school before you realized this or after like at what point did culinary school fit into that?

Sally: [00:10:14] Yeah, so I actually had big plans of going to school and pursuing like a math degree or an engineering degree. I like, I loved math in high school. That’s. 

Darla: [00:10:25] Yeah, but math is a big part of cooking. So that’s probably a good thing. 

Sally: [00:10:28] I do use a lot of math. I was in a lot of advanced math class math classes.

I was close with my math teacher who just was, this was so great at like empowering me and helping me to believe in myself. And so I was on this trajectory to some sort of math career in math and And it, I had a personal progress pro I had always liked to cook and personal progress used to be like cook a meal cooked meals for a whole week or whatever.

And so I did that when I was 13 and then I created a project for one of them. I’m sure I just made it up because I just, I, my plan was to make chocolate chip cookies for four weeks in a row and deliver them to people that I thought needed them or something like that. In that process of making the same recipe, like multiple times, I learned I was like fascinated by I want to make the perfect chocolate chip cookie. And so that kind of ignited this spark in me and I was every weekend. I was like trying the recipes. I was like, I’m sh my poor mom. I was like, 

Darla: [00:11:27] what your mom’s reaction was because I have a 13 year old that loves to bake and there’s a lot of messes.

Sally: [00:11:34] Yeah. I’m and I’m sure. And by the time I was like 14 or 15, I was the only kid left at home. My mom have always been really close, so she would do it with me, but they didn’t turn out great. And I would burn things on the bottom of the oven and I would put in secret ingredients to see if my mom could figure it out.

She could, she was always like, it’s cinnamon. Like it was. Yeah, I would just try out new things and and I got really into it. And so then I went to this college fair with a friend or I guess the whole junior class went. And so I was walking around with my friend and we were collecting pamphlets from all these universities, and then the Culinary Institute of America was there and I’m like, what?

It was probably the first time it even ever crossed my mind that I could go to school to learn how to make the perfect chocolate chip cookie. And I took the pamphlet and I just poured over it, like for weeks. And the Culinary Institute of America is in New York.

I think they, they might have a campus in California, but it’s a hundred thousand dollars a semester. Like it’s just ridiculous, but it opened my eyes to this idea that culinary school was a real option for me. And fast forward a little bit. My dad decides to retire from the Navy a year early and him and my mom decided that we’re moving to Southern Utah, Cedar City, Utah. And so I’m, so I moved there for my senior year of high school, just, I only had one year here and and found out that there’s two culinary schools, actually. I think there may be three now in Utah. One is at UVU and then there was a The Art Institute.

I think there was the Art Institute in Draper. I don’t know if it’s still there, but anyways, two options in Utah, a lot more affordable that I could go to. And so I went and toured them and just was like, there’s no way I’m getting a math degree now, I’m getting a degree in chocolate chip cookies. So that’s how I ended up.

Darla: [00:13:26] And this was before you really realized that this was a gift like that. This was a good thing. 

Sally: [00:13:31] Yeah, I think, yeah, it was like, It was, I’ve always been like I’m going to do what feels the funnest, I pursue fun. And so culinary school just seemed like so much fun.

And I would say even in school, I loved it. I loved every second of culinary school. But I never felt like my love for food was anything more than just like a potential career path. 

Darla: [00:13:55] So how have you seen, so you get these practical skills, you go to culinary school, you have these practical skills. When did you see it marry with the spiritual side of you like that this could actually be part of your spiritual journey is learning how to cook. 

Sally: [00:14:09] Yeah, I would say let’s see, how old is Ramona? I would say probably three years ago, sitting on Lizzie Jensen’s couch. Yeah. And I’m like, she’s what are you good at?

And I’m like cooking and she’s hello. She said to me what a perfect way to to what she says, like what a perfect vehicle for creating for talking about Christian hospitality and stuff. And I’m like what do you mean? I, it was totally, it was like one of those moments where just the clouds cleared him. I was like, duh yeah, this is what Heavenly Father has been trying to get through to me that I’m too busy. Like I need to eat less cookies so I can have a smaller butt. Like I was so focused on this thing’s bad. Like this is never gonna serve me when it’s not just, it’s not just serving me.

It’s serving my family, who I cook for seven nights a week, and now I want it to serve other people and to help. Honestly, one of the things I would love to do with my Kinship Table is help other people break out of that. So focused on, that food is such like a negative, hard thing that they have to deal with in their life when it’s actually in my opinion, the best thing, the best part about life. 

Darla: [00:15:21] In my house lately, that’s how I feel all the time. And you really do help me. Like sometimes I watch your stories. I feel like I could do this. I could make this recipe and I could bring my family together.

It has been one of the biggest struggles of my whole life. I don’t enjoy cooking and I don’t want to be there but you’re so right. It’s teaching other people how to do that. Food is always a part of everything that we do when we gather together. It’s memories for our kids.

Oh, remember when we ate this or remember when we made this or, there’s so much to it. So you really are helping people. And I think what you’re sharing is like applicable to anybody who feels like, oh, I have this gift. And it’s nobody gets it. Maybe this is a curse because you’re saying follow the spirit.

You went to a friend, a trusted friend that could help you and could help bring that out of you. And then you thought about what are the themes of my life? I think those are all great suggestions for anybody who’s looking how to do that. 

Sally: [00:16:14] Totally. And I think that’s that was what sparked this idea when we were talking about this conversation, I feel like I love seeing people using their kind of weird experience or their quirks to do something really good and to help people and to bless people’s lives. Like now people make entire businesses out of like how to stack a cake, how to like hand lettering, beautiful quotes.

It’s not just about people who can sing people who can play the piano. Those are incredible skills, but if you think I don’t have any talents, you’re wrong. Those are not the only talents and whatever it is that you’re really good at or you really love, the Lord can use it.

People talk about clothes. People care about clothes. People care about how to take care of your body. You could use whatever you love to help the work, like in the Doctrine & Covenants, these last couple of weeks with Come Follow Me, I have been loving how many times the Lord says you have a gift to these people?

And they’re like, I want to be a part of it. How can I work in? He just says you already have a gift. And it was like, they were like, I know. But what new what do you want me to do? And he’s no, you have a gift. You just have to use it. And for me that was food and that was and friendship.

And it’s not the traditional. It’s not what everybody has. And that’s great because whenever you have, you might be the, you might be one of only a few that can do it and we need it. I need to learn from somebody who can teach me because I’m really good at food, but there’s a million things I’m not really good at.

And there’s a lot of things that I would love to learn from somebody who wants to teach it. 

Darla: [00:17:54] Yeah, I think something you said really hit the nail on the head. God blessed us with gifts to help build the kingdom. And not only does he want you to use that gift, but he needs you. There’s somebody out there that you can connect with.

And if you lean into that gift, even if you think it’s weird or, it doesn’t quite fit or whatever, that’s not true because there’s people that you can reach that nobody else can reach because he blessed you with that gift. And so lean into that because he needs you. 

Sally: [00:18:20] Totally. And I had a weird experience.

I don’t know if you saw this, like two weeks ago, I had a Reel go viral on Instagram. Did you see  that? 

Darla: [00:18:29] I saw it. 

Sally: [00:18:29] Sunday naps are supposed to be restful, so my kids were all upstairs chilling and my daughter, my three-year-old had a bean bag chair that she unzipped and just like millions of little foam balls exploded throughout our entire upstairs.

So I took this video of it and I just posted it. I didn’t even post on my feed. I just posted it as a Reel to share it. And it went viral. It has 4.6 million views now. So because of that, what felt like a really horrible Sunday afternoon, but I was able to laugh that I posted it and I got like 4,000 new followers over it, or three, 3000 new followers over it.

And I’m like, oh, half of them are going to leave, but if there’s even one person in there who found me because of that, who comes on my feed and then hear s me talk about the scriptures or hears me talk about the Book of Mormon or hears me talk about the importance of family.

If there’s one thing, one person I’m glad I posted that video. When your motivation is to build up the kingdom, the Lord will use whatever you have to offer. Even if that’s a silly video, even if it’s just that you like to make people laugh. Even if it, for me, it’s cookies like that, he’ll use my cookies as a way to help me partner in the work and to share a little bit of light in the, on the internet.

I, I don’t think I’m going to change the world with cookies. I hope it doesn’t seem like I’m saying like my work is so important, but it’s important to me because of the way that it transforms me because of what I learned by, through being creative, through interacting with new people, through putting myself out there, it’s such a refining process and I just hope that it has some sort of positive effect on anyone. Who’s seeing it. 

Darla: [00:20:14] Yeah, I love what you said about the one, like 4 million people. See your video and you get all these new followers and if it helps one person, then it’s worth it because that’s how the Lord works. That’s how the Savior works in our own lives. We think of his, and I think you are the one that told me this one time, I heard you say this I’m probably not going to say this.

But his atonement is infinite. What did you tell me? It’s infinite. And also…  

Sally: [00:20:38] Individual probably like it’s infinite. 

Darla: [00:20:41] Yeah, for all of us in each of us, you are the one that told me that. Yes. I love that.

And so yes, we’re all in this covenant path moving forward, but we all have our own unique gifts. And they’re meant to bless the people around us. And sometimes maybe that one person that it helps by leaning into those gifts and consecrating them to build the kingdom is us. I love what you said. Like you’re learning all these things about yourself and improving yourself and learning how to be closer to the Savior by cooking and by baking and by selling cookies. And that’s everything that we do I think is just a vehicle to help us get closer to him. And he cares about everything. It is important to him.

If it’s important to you, it’s important to him. 

Sally: [00:21:21] Absolutely. I agree. And I think when I was searching for how could I possibly contribute to the kingdom? Like I got the answer what do you want to do? What do you love to do? And if you love to do something. And you pray for Hey, how can help me consecrate this, help me do this for your good for building up your kingdom.

He’ll amplify it. He’ll magnify it. He’ll make it your efforts even greater than you could do on your own. That’s I, that’s the grace, that’s the empowering part of the atonement that if you want to do it with him, if you want to partner with him he wants to like, yeah, you, all you have to do to be called is to want to thrust in your sickle.

Maybe, whatever your sickle is.

Darla: [00:22:02] If you love something, just pray about it, ask him how you can use that to build the kingdom. And I can guarantee no matter what it is, he’s he has a way that you can be a part of that work. 

Sally: [00:22:12] And that every single person has something. I think there’s a lot of women who want to be like, I’m humble. I don’t have any talents and that’s not true. Like we’re not meant to be invisible. We’re not meant to be unseen. We’re meant to share. We’re meant to stand up and say, Hey, I know how to bake this cake. Does anybody want to learn from me? Yeah. That, I think that we get caught thinking that it’s humble to ignore our talents. And maybe we’re afraid. Maybe we’ve been told for so many years, we don’t have talents, but you do. If if you’re sitting there thinking I don’t have it, that you do. 

Darla: [00:22:50] Yeah. And also to not put our mortal mind, try to put it in a box like, oh, unless I’m on a stage and sharing with thousands of people or have this huge following or whatever, it doesn’t matter.

And that’s not how the Lord sees it. If you’re using your gifts to help one person, like we already talked about it’s worth it. And it has value. You have value. You don’t have to have a big platform 

Sally: [00:23:11] When I was feeling this kind of stirring of Hey, there’s something I want you to do. I want you to get to work.

I was like, I’m not like I can’t help. who am I? And I had, my husband gave me a blessing and in the blessing, he said, this isn’t work for you to do alone. Like you’re not doing all the work. You’re just doing your part. And what’s been so cool is meeting people like you and like Liz and so many others who are just doing their work, whatever their work is, whatever their personal ministry is, they’re doing it. And then we get to link arms together and do it together. And I had this thought of a patchwork quilt that covers the whole earth, as we, we each just bring our square. And when all of our work is combined, it’s enough.

And there’s not this pressure. You don’t have to do it perfectly. You get to partner with Christ and do it imperfectly. 

Darla: [00:24:00] I so believe that. And that’s why I named my podcast spiritually minded women. It’s not about one person doing something. And it’s really not about I want it to be like a community, but it’s really not about a physical gathering that we’re getting together and sharing.

It’s just that I just want women to know that they’re on this covenant path and that what they have is good and it’s there from the creator and he is right there beside you and you can do it. And when we all realize that, and we just live in those gifts, like we become one, we become this force that is going to do so much good in the world.

And all you have to do is to step into what you feel like you’re good at and let God do the rest. Let him consecrate that. So good. 

Sally: [00:24:41] That’s called Zion. That’s built like I, we’re working on building Zion. That’s Zion is when we’re all doing our part and we’re united in our devotion to Christ.

Darla: [00:24:51] Yeah. And it’s, that’s not hard. We can do that. I think it also brings up, how we hear all the time from the prophet let’s gather Israel. That’s how we can do it. Just be who you are, like lean into that. Don’t try to be somebody else, your past, your future, where you’re at right now.

Just embrace it all. Yeah. Yeah. 

Sally: [00:25:11] Amen. 

Darla: [00:25:12] Okay. This has been so good, Sally. I love talking to you like this is so fun and I, it was just so grateful that you would come on and share these things that, your journey and the things that have been in your heart. I do have one final question for you. 

 How have you seen and felt the Savior in your journey on the covenant path?

Sally: [00:25:28] I can’t imagine walking a single day on the path without him. I think that he knowing him, like reading his words, that was one of the most transformative things for me reading the NewTestament and studying it and reading his words, reading the parts of the Book of Mormon where he speaks, seeing his actions, learning like the nature of who he is as my Savior has helped me to feel like he is a true friend. Like he is present in my life. Like I do have access to him, to his to forgiveness because of him to grace to be able to do more than I could do on my own. And each time I try to do something new and scary to feel his reassurance that like things will be done to his glory.

Like it will, as I like seek to do the Lord’s will, everything will work out. And that comfort so when I get a negative, when I get negative feedback or when I get, something unkind or when I totally dropped the ball on something, just that reassurance that that he’s there to make up the difference when I fall short it gives that gives me a little bit of a boost and more resolve to keep going to keep trying, even when I know I’m never gonna, I’m never gonna do it perfectly.

I’m never going to to accomplish everything, that the Lord makes up the difference that all he’s asking is. Is for me to do my best. And he’s, I’m partnering with him, this is something we get to do together. When I seek that, when I turn to him and I ask for his help, we’re doing it together and you can’t fail when you’re doing it with him.

Darla: [00:27:06] So true. And so well said, thank you so much, Sally. If people want to come and find you and see your kids throwing beanbag everywhere, or your cookies or how they can help gather their family where can they go to find you? 

Sally: [00:27:20] So the best place is Instagram. That’s where I am most of the time.

So it’s @kinship.table. And then I have a website that has a little shop on it. So I sell cookies occasionally. Usually just when I have extra time. But there’ll be more on the site eventually with some more articles and stuff like that. 

Darla: [00:27:37] I will link up your account and everything on the show notes so people can go and find you, but thank you so much for being here and for being willing to share your heart and just your journey and what that’s looked like. 

Sally: [00:27:49] I hope that I hope it was good. 

Darla: [00:27:53] Totally gonna help somebody else. And I’m really grateful. I could just help provide the platform for you to be able to share. 

Sally: [00:27:58] While you’re the best. Thanks. Darla. 

Darla: [00:28:01] Thanks Sally. 

And now here are this week’s journal questions. Sally shared how a friend helped her to see that food and friendship were her gifts by asking her questions. If you aren’t sure what your gifts are, think about and write your answers to these questions. What has been a theme for my whole life?  

What have I been taught through my experiences? What has God been teaching me throughout my life? 

Another way to use your gifts to help build the kingdom is to go to the source, the person who gave you those gifts in the first place. Take some time to ponder or meditate and ask God how you can use your gifts to be part of his work. 

Sally shared the thought that we are not meant to be unseen. What you have to offer matters. Think of one way you can use your gifts and talents to bless someone else. Write that idea down and then go and do it. After, write your thoughts about how sharing your gift made you feel.